Friday, July 11, 2008

Happy birthday, Izze!


I can't believe that our Isabel Grace is THREE YEARS OLD today! Man, time flies....

I was thinking this morning about the day she was born. It was such a mixture of elation, fear, and moments of sheer desperation. (Some of you may not know this, but Isabel was diagnosed in utero with a life-threatening birth defect called "Diaphragmatic Hernia"-- which carried only a 50% survival rate.)

It is 8:16 a.m. right now, as I write. Three years ago, I was in Swedish Medical Center, waiting for contractions to begin, to bring forth our baby. (My water had broken at around 3 a.m., but nothing was happening-- so I had to be "induced" at some point. I can't remember exactly when they started the Pitocin drip, though.) The doctors were scrambling around-- since Izze decided to make her appearance three days earlier than our planned induction. And I was in a state of what I can only describe as "numbness." I had no idea what would happen to my baby, once she was outside the security of my protective womb.

The contractions started; the pain was excruciating. My parents went to lunch because it was "going to be a while" before she came out... and then 10 minutes later, she was there! I've never seen such chaos in my entire life! There were at least 20 people in the room (medical staff), ready to tend to Isabel's urgent needs. As soon as she came out, I saw her for-- literally-- one second, and then she was whisked over to a table where a breathing tube was shoved down her throat. Then she was rushed to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit), and we didn't see her again until she was going to the ambulance to be transported to Children's Hospital. Her condition was not improving.

It was such a desperate time for us. We were trusting God, but the raw emotion that comes with facing the potential loss of a child is unbearable. Thankfully, the Lord was merciful. But, that fear-- at that time-- is indescribable.

Seeing our little baby, all plumbed and wired, enduring a major surgery at 3-days-old, having to be fed via a tube for months afterward... what a crazy time in our lives.

This morning, as I reminisced about the day Isabel was born, I started to experience a fraction of that raw emotion, and this overwhelming thought came back to me and offered a familiar comfort: All of the time that we had to spend apart from our baby (the weeks that we weren't allowed to hold her, the nights away from her, the hours in the "pump room" [where I expressed breast milk-- even though she didn't receive a single drop of it for WEEKS])-- every single nano-second that we were away from her-- Jesus was holding her in HIS arms. What WE were restricted by-- HE could overcome! The nurses couldn't tell HIM not to touch her; the tubes and wires didn't keep him from rocking her and holding her while she slept; the heart-rate monitor didn't go haywire every time he snuggled her up in His arms.

And, Jesus does the same thing for ALL OF US-- every day! We may have different "restrictions" in our flesh-- but the loving arms of Jesus can overcome every single one of them. He is just waiting for us. He's just waiting for ME to open my arms and to receive the embrace that he has been waiting to generously dispense.

I've known Jesus for a very long time. Sure, I've taken detours on this journey... but, that loving embrace has always been there, patiently waiting for me to respond. He is the most dependable thing in my life.

And, today, on the day on the "anniversary" of the most stressful and "uncertain" day of my life-- I celebrate whole-heartedly! God showered His favor on us-- undeserved favor (the definition of "grace"-- which happens to be Isabel's middle name, and was chosen for that very reason), and he continues to do so today. He is such an awesome God!!!

Isabel is healthy and has no residual effects from the CDH, aside from a 6-inch scar that runs along her rib-cage on her left side. I love that scar. It reminds me of God's favor. Every time I bathe her or dress her and see that scar, I rejoice. God has been so good to us.

Rejoice with us today! It is a day of celebration-- and not just of Isabel's birth-- but of God's unending favor. His mercy knows no bounds.

Happy third birthday, Isabel Grace!!!

:) Lori


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1 comment:

Michelle said...

Great post, Lori! I'm so happy to see how Izze is growing. Wish I could've been there for the birthday party! Love, Auntie M